Paraskavedekatriaphobia? Maybe it’s All a Snow Job

Paraskavedekatriaphobia? Maybe its All a Snow Job

Editors

It is Friday the 13th, but this one has a twist. Curiously, a document, dated May 13, 1755, and penned by the Swiss alchemist and follower of Jainism, Dr. Riskoff Fasdeth, was recently released onto wiki leaks by a “representative” of the Jains, an Eastern religious group. It predicted a dark and quirky week of Friday the 13th for the Northern Americas in what would be the 459th subsequent Day of Doom since then. 

That day is Today, Friday, and through the week to the 20th.

As there are–on average–1.72 Friday the 13ths per year, the 459th Friday the 13th is now upon us. 

But the world has not ended —since you are reading this– so what then did Fasdeth predict for today and the following week? Here are the direct words from his transcript:  

   In this year of our lord, 1755, we look to the future with icy trepidation–some 267 years hence on the 459th Friday the 13th from now, and the week that follows, in May 2022.  Our most studied philosophers and alchemists agree and predict that the heavens will choose a day from the 13th to the 20th, and –in a mighty tempest– pour forth and adorn the New Americas with a multitude of snow so terrific and sublime that the lives of the peoples of the new lands will stall, and Mankind will be forced to gaze upward and be rapt as he reconsider his purpose in the cosmos. — R.D.  

So, is this some prediction for a snowstorm so deep that our final days in school will all be snow days?  

Stay vigilant for errant flakes.